NFL Playoff Team as COVID-19 Characters

NFL Playoff Teams as characters from COVID-19 (Past Pods were based on Game of Thrones Characters, Star Wars Characters and Always Sunny in Philadelphia Characters)

possibly our 5th annual? Definitely our 4th annual!

This is the widest choice spectrum in our 5 year history of this podcast — but, I still think we’ll pick 3 teams as the same thing from COVID-19

Zoom, Kobe Bryant (the only thing before COVID and a Harbinger of things to come), Unemployment/ Stimulus, Masks, Social Justice/BLM, Tok Tok/ Ocean Spray Guy on the skateboard, Election (Biden/Trump), Vaccine

Tiger King - Carol Baskin, Joe Exotic

The Last Dance

Karen’s Unhinged

Anthony Fauci

AFC: 1 Kansas City Chiefs (Bye), 2 Bills vs 7 Colts, 3 Steelers vs. 6 Browns, 4 Titans vs 5 Ravens

NFC: 1 Packers (Bye), 2 Saints vs 7 Bears, 3 Seahawks vs 6 Rams, 4 Wash Football Team vs 5 Buccaneers

NFC Teams

Packers are “the last Dance” — Rodgers “took it personally”

Saints — Roy Jones Junior from the 50+ Mike Tyson vs. Roy Jones exhibition. Shadow of their best days because they’ve taken so many haymakers over the years, that it’s bound to end badly again

Bears — Rudy Guiliani’s press conference live from the Four Season’s Landscaping — you think it’s a good thing the Bears are in the playoffs, but really it’s more of an embarrassment to all almost everybody involved

Seahawks are Carol Baskin (started COVID as a potential mastermind and murder) — by November has faded from the MVP of COVID times like Russell Wilson has faded in the MVP Race

Rams are “Murder Hornets” — They are Hugh Grant’s character from HBO’s “The Undoing” with our friend Nicole Kidman. As much as they tried to make Jonathan aka Hugh Grant not seem like the murder… it’s been pretty obvious that despite best efforts that the Rams are guilty of being a tier below a true title contender

Washington Football Team — are the $600 Stimulus checks — Alex Smith is a feel good story but it’s nowhere close to enough to make anything meaningful happen

Buccaneers - "Aliens are Real” - Brady at 43 on a different team is strange. After a day or two everybody said “meh” and then like 5 months later a retired and credible Israeli Govt Official reiterates that “no seriously Aliens are real”… and then Tom Brady and his team rip off six wins in a row, because he’s an alien and what do Aliens have (the best weapons). Ipso Facto: TB12 is an Alien

AFC Teams

KC Chiefs are Fortune 100 companies and Airline Industry — they’ve always got enough juice to get bailed out - and they’re gonna keep winning because they are the 1%

Bills are the Lt Governor of PA John Federman (sp?)— things were looking ugly and then they just came in to drop the hammer, save the day, and flip the script on the AFC and potentially the whole League

Colts (Mike Tyson from the Mike Tyson Fight) - Been years since we’ve taken him serious. We question why we continue to watch Philip Rivers but as things have marched on your eyes keep telling you — he’s kinda still got it. (Shoutout to Frank Reich the true genius behind the Eagles’ Super Bowl Title

Steelers — Joe Exotic — started out ON ABSOLUTE Fire and by the end it’s pretty clear that they aren’t who we thought they were and they are not coming out of this as the winner.

Browns — They are the convergence of Jupiter and Saturn — it’s the first time in 450 years since they made the playoffs, but we’re all happy to see them briefly

Ravens — Lance Armstrong Documentary — they will never apologize for who they are, despite being flawed. Not implying that they cheat… and honestly that part of Lance Armstrong isn’t applicable. But the Ravens if they play a perfect game on offense can easily win and it won’t even be close — like Lance back in the day

Titans — they are the NBA Bubble’s eastern conference number 5 seed, the Miami Heat… They literally have to “out tough you” to win. And they likely can hang around - unless their opponent plays at their absolute best

Wildcard Card Round Picks

Saints vs Bears (this game will be way too close for Saints but they’ll eek it out)

Seahawks vs Rams (could see either team winning close or Seahawks in a blowout — going with Seahawks Close

WFT vs Bucs — I think Bucs get it done

Bills vs Colts — The Bills seem like a touch too talented to get beat in round 1 — but Colts might make them earn it

Steelers vs Browns — division rivals could go either way — I’ll go Browns in the upset

Ravens vs Titans — rematch of last year. Last Year the Ravens were the Rocketship and the Titans found a way — I think the Ravens pay the favor back this time, but that means Lamar plays his first great playoff game. If he can’t do that — Titans take it

Who’s your final four, who’s going to Super Bowl 55 and who’s gonna win this thing?

With no fans in the stands in most of these stadium — this is the hardest season of trying to pick these games — plus 2 extra teams qualified for the first time.

I’ll go with Chiefs hosting Bills in AFC Title Game.

NFC Title game is going to have at least one lower seed I’ll try Packers hosting Seahawks - but only because I have zero faith in the Saints. (Rams, Bucs, Seahawks could all go on a real run).

Packers vs. Bills - Super Bowl

Packers to win it… but let’s make it clear — Packers, Bills, Chiefs, Ravens, Rams, Bucs, Seahawks could all win this thing — 7 of the 14 teams could get this thing done.

The New York Jets are going to be sold to Gary Vaynerchuk in 2021

The Jets are the first 2-13 “Nobody Believes in us" team which is why…
The Jets are going to be sold by the Johnson Family to a new ownership group headed up by Gary Vee

0-3 - coming off 2 straight blowouts. Played Denver tough, lost by 9 to go 0-4

Then lose by 20 to Cardinals, by 24 to Dolphins, by only 8 to the Bills, and then lose by 26 to the Chiefs to go 0-8.

Something snapped in the Jets and the very average NE Patriots needed a miracle to beat the Jets by a field goal. 0-9

Game 10 - a below average by exciting Chargers team beats the Jets by 6. now they’re 0-10 and in game 11 the Dolphins stomp them by 17, now they’re 0-11

Game 12 - Gregg Williams send the house on a blitz against the Raiders. Jets essentially lose on a Hail Mary. Williams Fired (Williams was the Mole).

Williams gets Fired — but Adam Gase is definitely gonna get fired, and the Johnson’s likely give Williams some type of golden parachute and/or a wink/nod on coming back as DC next year with new HC

Game 13 - Jets get stomped by the Seahawks 40-3

Now 0-13 — something snaps again. Like that scene in “Pulp Fiction” between Butch and Marcellus Wallace. “PRIDE STARTS MESSING WITH THEM”.

Week 14 - Jets blow their number pick, but the players and the coaches avoid going 0-16 and kind of screw up the Rams season in the process (Rams had just smoked the very average Patriots)

Week 15 — Jets already essentially doomed to get the number 2 pick even if they lose the rest of their games due to a strength of schedule technicality — Jets go out and beat the Cleveland Browns — which basically ends the Browns chances at winning the AFC North — cuz the Steelers came back to beat the Colts.

Now they’re 2-13 and face the very average Patriots (whole they almost beat earlier this season). Win on lose in Game 16- the Jets get the number 2 pick.

If the Johnson’s can’t have #1 Pick and Trevor Lawrence… then they don’t want to own the team for the next decade plus any way — and now they guarantee that if Gary Vee does get the team - he won’t have Trevor Lawrence, either

Historical Fan-Fiction; laced with an Outlandish Projection for the future — but, when it comes to the Jets, no matter how far flung the theories are… they’ll likely find a way to do something even more inexplicable.

But, what about this for fan-fiction? The Jets get sold to Gary Vee… the Jaguars and Lawrence never quite make a Super Bowl… and Gary Vee’s positive thinking and outside the box thinking helps to reset the culture. Sam Darnold turns into the real deal. Jets win a Super Bowl, now that the Johnson’s aren’t around to mishandle the fortunes of the franchise.

Christmas List for the New England Patriots

The 2-5 Patriots would be 4-3 at best if they still had Brady -- so who cares, moving on was still the right decision for Tom and for the New England.

Bill is still rolling the dice that this season might not finish or that other teams will get caught with bad health luck and they could be in the mix at 8-8 or 9-7 for that 7 seed

Bill chould pull a FULL TANK and lose 9 more in a row, including 2 to the Jets — just to troll them in the most inexplicable way possible

Christmas List, what Christmas List? JJ from ManCookGood says “keep Cam for 2 years 40 million and see what happens”… don’t hate it!

Kamala Harris and the Boston Celtics in one place

Celtics vs. Sixers - playoffs

Have you watched most recent episode of Below Deck Med?

Phillies vs. Red Sox? How are Phillies this season? 

Dan likened this season to a death march, why? 

Celtics took game 1. Gordon Hayward is out for a month. Celts can’t rebound. 

i think this goes 6 and either team could still be the winner

Flyers vs. Montreal - gotta pull for the Fly Guys in that one. Flyers are up 3-1 

Bruins somehow are 2-0 since Tuuka Rask Left and lead Carolina 3-1. 

You gotta fight fire with fire with people like the current President — think it’s an awesome pick

Before Biden Picked Harris - where did you have Harris ranked on his potential list of running mates? And Why?

Who else did you like from that potential list of running mates? 

I was surprised that Harris’ campaign didn’t get more traction during primary season… any thoughts as to why that was the case? (Bernie and Biden seemed to take the air out of the room in a lot of ways, perhaps?)

Tim Kaine was a “milk toast” uninspired pick for Hilary in 2016 — Kamala Harris is NOT THAT for so many reasons.

Here’s a tweet from day 2 on the VP ticket - “Trump inherited the longest economic expansion in history from Barack Obama and Joe Biden. And then, like everything else he inherited, he ran it straight into the ground.”